The microwave box teeters on the edge of an unseen ledge in the corner of the room before disappearing. Michael runs to the hole in the room, as if in a dream. He peers down at the inky depths and spots only two things. The first is a magnificent crystal, at least forty feet tall and two hundred feet down. It glows as if lit from the inside, and is shines with an iridescent mixture of electric blue and periwinkle. The second thing is a beast. A horrible beast, just as tall as the crystal, maybe taller. Sharp ligaments and a greasy mop of hair. What was most unsettling was the speed at which it met the eye of Michael and disappeared into the massive catwalk of thin walkways spiraling up the cavern. The walkways that lead to the newly discovered entry point Michael was currently staring into.


Batman and Robin Eternal #14 (DC)

James Tynion IV (W) Matt Ryan/Fernando Pasarin (A)

I feel like this series is even better than Batman Eternal. I know a lot of people will disagree with that, but the way I see it, this comic has gotten right to the punch with no dicking around. That was a big issue for me with Batman Eternal.


A-Force #1 (Marvel)

G. Willow Wilson (W) Jorge Molina (A)

I was so blown away with this series when it premiered for Secret Wars. I really hope that it can bring the momentum to the new universe. With a team like this though, I don’t see how they couldn’t.


Spider-Gwen #4 (Marvel)

Jason Latour (W) Robbi Rodriguez (A)

We live in a time in comic books where something completely out of left field can actually be comic book gold. Case and point, this comic. Such a strange, yet not completely wrong idea, mixed with just enough cynicism and badassery to satisfy my inner angst. I’m all for it.


Doctor Strange #4 (Marvel)

Jason Aaron (W) Kevin Nowlan (A)

Dammit this series is good. I’m sure there are plenty of people who may say it isn’t completely in the vein of the character, but I think that’s a welcome breath of fresh air. It seems like a more disheveled Strange, and I can get behind that.


Spider-Man/Deadpool #1 (Marvel)

Joe Kelly (W) Ed McGuinness (A)

I am super pumped for this series. I was a HUGE fan of Kelly’s run on Deadpool, and everything else just seems to pale in comparison. I’m spoiled like that. Either way, He’s taking (in my opinion) two of the funniest heroes in all of Marveldom and making them reluctant partners. Be prepared, be prepared as fuck.


Miracleman by Gaiman & Buckingham #6 (Marvel)

Neil Gaiman (W) Mark Buckingham (A)

We’ve only gotten a peak at the titular character so far, but I believe the first issue of this new arc will change that. I’m excited to see what a God does in his free time.


Nailbiter #19 (Image)

Joshua Williamson (W) Mike Henderson (A)

Like serial killers? Who doesn’t. There’s a whole town of them in this comic, and you are nineteen issues behind. What are you doing with your life?


Bitch Planet #6 (Image)

Kelly Sue DeConnick (W) Taki Soma (A)

This lovely creature has been missing from the shelves for quite a while now. It has gathered a huge following, and deservedly so. If you haven’t picked up the first trade, go do it now. Actually, Amazon has really great deals on trades right now, so go do it you fucking waste. This message was not in any way sponsored by anyone, hardly even myself.


Paper Girls #4 (Image)

Brian K. Vaughan (W) Cliff Chang (A)

Slowly emerging as one of the best new comics, this is a comic you can’t miss. You know how BKV tends to alchemy anything into gold, the goldest gold? Well, here you go, a nice gold sandwich!


Archie #5 (Archie Comics)

Mark Waid (W) Veronia Fish (A)

Holy biscuits! This series is so freaking good. Mark Waid has always been one of my favorite writers, and this comic is a prime example of why. He can escape the melodrama and just get to the good tasty bits. Not to mention an artistic team for the ages in this first arc. Pick this up if you like comics at all.


Black Science #19 (Image)

Rick Remender (W) Matteo Scalera (A)

This new arc has been blowing my mind with every issue. Seriously, it is incredibly thoughtful and really damned interesting. I couldn’t begin to tell you what was going on, but I can tell you what I’m doing. Throwing my money, coins and all, at my local comic shop. They asked me to stop as it’s impeding the traffic in and out of the store, but I won’t. They fucking deserve it and they know it.


The Fade Out #12 (Image)

Ed Brubaker (W) Sean Phillips (A)

Simultaneously heartbroken and thrilled. This is the last issue, like, ever in the history of everything. I feel like my kid is graduating, while also being strangled to death. I’d love to stop it but the pompous bastard had so many advantages over me, he deserves to be taught a lesson. Don’t think to hard on that analogy.


I’ll leave you with this note. Who throws pies? Seriously? I mean how did that become a thing. What a waste of perfectly good food. I suppose comedy trumps eating. You know what I just answered my own question. Go away now.