Every once in a great while a film comes along that makes how we see the world a little different. Some Like It Hot changed what we think of a comedy. Terminator 2 modified our expectations for visual effects. Citizen Kane altered how filmmakers use narration and sound. The Room tried to be something groundbreaking on some level but failed on all fronts. You may be thinking “The Room is the worst movie ever, what are you talking about?” Unfortunately, The Room isn’t even the worst movie from that year. Watch From Justin to Kelly and get back to me. “But Tim, it has a cult following in a weird way, that’s pretty unique.” Sorry to say it, but tons of bad movies have followings. The Beastmaster, Showgirls, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show are just a few examples. It pains me to say this but The Room is just another bad film in the sea of Hollywood movies.
I wonder, can you scalp gun show tickets?
The Room is a skin-a-max movie from the 90’s with less nudity. All the acting is clunky and sporadic. When directors act (Mel Brooks, Clint Eastwood, Christopher Guest, Tyler Perry, etc.) they at least seem to have an idea as what their character is doing. Tommy Wiseau stars in his own movie that he directs and produces but doesn’t seem to know what is going on at any time. If he wasn’t using some serious drugs while making this movie then it is likely he just has an IQ that is really low, or he was trying to make a bad movie.
Graduated Summa Cum Laude from the Jimmy Fallon school of not looking at the camera
Theory 1: I don’t think he’s that dumb. He made a bunch of money some how. He claims with rental properties but that doesn’t matter. Someone who has enough money to be independently wealthy did something right at some point. He may not be book smart but perhaps if the truth of his wealth comes out in official media then it would make more sense to us all.
Theory 2: Making a film bad on purpose could have been the goal. If I was tasked to make a bad film I think I could make worse but it wouldn’t be by much. “Why would he make a bad film on purpose?” Fame. You can be famous for something good or bad and he likely figured out he wasn’t going to be James Cameron so he decided to become Ed Gein.
Proof that you don’t have to be in shape, good looking, or cool to be in an adult scene in a terrible film
If you want to read about how bad the movie is, read another review. It’s been done and I don’t want to beat a dead horse. There were some fundamentally good things in the movie that I feel need to be addressed. Pleasing nudity will always get a better score out of me even if I’m not the one that would find it pleasing. I’ll explain: I’m a heterosexual male so I like the female form; but if there is male nudity from a person that others would find pleasing then it gets the 4 more points that pleasing female nudity would get as well. Is it shallow? Yes. Does it say more about me than the movie? Yes. If you don’t like it, write your own reviews.
This would have been better 2 minutes into the film
Back to my point, The Room has a couple sex scenes that show female and some male nudity that I would classify as the standard +4 but also has ‘old man butt’ that would negate the nudity bonus. No one needs that. The acting is so bad that it’s actually funny. Too bad it wasn’t funny enough to be ‘so bad it’s good’. There are so many plots and subplots which go no, where it makes you more confused than everything else. For example, Why did we need to find out the mother had cancer? Why did that kid owe that guy with the gun money? Why wasn’t the dude with glasses more mad that the other guy literally just tried to throw him off a building? Why did we need to know what the people at the coffee shop ordered? So many questions that will never be answered and so little a crap do I have for the answers.
Racist
I wouldn’t remake this movie due it’s complete lack of originality and terrible story. On the other hand, being tasked to make a worse movie would be challenging. First, I need to pick my genre which I would go with comedy/drama. Not romantic comedy because that can be relatable but a drama without romance with comedy in the foreground. Think Silence of the Lambs meets Baby Geniuses 2 without Hannibal and using jokes that go on for too long and aren’t funny. Mostly just 45 minutes of baby puns and an elaborate sex scene with Jocelyn Wildenstein and Clint Howard. I would want to toss in an inappropriate Michael Bay explosion but I wouldn’t because that would actually be a part that dumb people would enjoy. Primarily monotone dialog with voiceovers by the worst voice over artists ever for the babies. Actually, I bet I could get Tommy Wiseau to be a voice in it, not like he has something better going on.
As always, if you want to make me watch a bad movie to review or if you think you can make a worse movie than me leave it in the comments below. I want to thank my good friend Kurt for picking this movie for his holiday gift. Thanks for reading.
Made ones of dollars and laughing all the way to the unemployment line
