Joseph Buroughs walks into a crowded comic book shop and grimaces. He remembers a time when things were different. He can’t really remember them much, but he knows for sure that they were different than they are now. He pushes past some snotty kids and beelines for the back. All of his free comics are gone, all the good ones at least. Free Comic Book Day has become a mockery. Some young person stands on the opposite side of the store shaking his head at Joseph. What does he know? I’ve been doing this for years, not like these phonies.

Spider-Gwen_Vol_2_8Spider-Gwen #8 (Marvel)

Jason Latour (W) Bengal (A)

I hate these cross series stories. I really do. I don’t necessarily think they are bad story telling, but I think it’s unfair to the reader. I’m not reading Spider-Woman, or Silk, so why should it be made mandatory to pick up those comics to follow the story. If anything, do a limited run to tell this story.

All_New_Inhumans_007All-New Inhumans #7 (Marvel)

Charles Soule (W) Andre Araujo (A)

New arc, new people. Well, new-ish. Okay, well new for this comic. Fine. Ana Kravinoff is coming to the Inhuman side. Also some more back story for one of the newest members of the Inhumans. Not bad, eh?

Empress_02Empress #2 of 7 (Marvel)

Mark Millar (W) Stuart Immonen (A)

So I failed you all. I wasn’t planning on picking up issue one of this comic, but I buckled and now here we are. I am worthless.

The_Punisher_01Punisher #1 (Marvel)

Becky Cloonan (W) Steve Dillon (A)

I’ve been hearing good things about this one already, and I’m on board for this team. I mean Dillion is absolutely amazing, and from what I’ve seen Cloonan is making her mark on the medium in a big way. The last Punisher series was great, so I’m sold. Lets do this.

Renato_Jones_01Renato Jones: The One Percent #1 (Image)

Kaare Andrews (W) Kaare Andrews (A)

Ever want to punch trust fund babies in their straight well kept teeth? Who doesn’t? I mean really. It turns out Renato Jones is out to punch some serious teeth, all in the name of the 99%. You can taste the justice.

Moon_Knight_02Moon Knight #2 (Marvel)

Jeff Lemire (W) Greg Smallwood (A)

I loved the first issue of this comic. It was an intense story that really sets us up for a rollercoaster. Has Marc Spector really lost it, like all of it?

Black_Widow_003Black Widow #3 (Marvel)

Chris Samnee/Mark Waid (W) Chris Samnee (A)

And this series continues to amaze me. I really think that these two guys could make anything good. If you aren’t reading this, then you are a foolish fool. Or you just have different taste than me. In which case, you are a damn fool.

Nailbiter_21Nailbiter #21 (Image)

Joshua Williamson (W) Mike Henderson (A)

NEW ARC SEASON. GET YOUR NEW SHIT! DIDN’T LIKE THE LAST ARC? NEW ARC! In all seriousness, it’s a new arc.

Wolf_07Wolf #7 (Image)

Ales Kot (W) Lee Loughridge (A)

We are promised some clarification in this issue. Well, that’s good.

The moral of today’s story is don’t be like Joseph. No one likes a Joseph. Free Comic Book Day comes once a year, and for many people it’s the only time of the year they enter a comic shop. Don’t ruin it for the people who are just getting into comics, or the children, or anyone for that matter. This is a day to share our passions with everyone. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll inspire a new reader. Maybe you can turn a kid on to the comic that will push him to become an artist. Do good, and the world will treat you well.