After an astoundingly successful grassroots campaign, Jerry Masters was going to become the president. It wasn’t even nine, and already things seemed to be set in stone. Running on a platform of Dadaism, along with an outlandish pledge to bring ancient Gods back to life, Jerry Masters was laughed out of debates and was generally seen as nothing more than a nuisance in the eyes of the ruling few. Yet, here he was.

detective-comics-944Detective Comics #944 (DC)

James Tynion IV (W) Eddy Barrows (A)

Holy crap this was a hard week to order. Look at these titles. There are only a couple this week, and you can see by the fact that Detective is at the top that it’s a week full of winners. This series is amazing. It’s unfair that it’s on the top this week.

all-star-batman-4All Star Batman #4 (DC)

Scott Snyder (W) John Romita (A)

This series is pretty great, but it’s also all over the place. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes it hard for me (personally) to sink my teeth into it. Still the bees knees.

daredevil-13Daredevil #13 (Marvel)

Charles Soule (W) Ron Garney (A)

The new villain in this series is fucking crazy, I mean, not crazy crazy, well yeah, crazy crazy, but also interesting crazy. You know? He murders people.

wonder-woman-19Wonder Woman #10 (DC)

Greg Rucka (W) Nicola Scott (A)

I love the juxtaposed Wonder-Women in this run. We have a younger more naive Diana coming to America in one arc, with an older more jaded Diana trying to return home. Beautiful symmetry.

spiderman-deadpool-11Spider-Man/Deadpool #11 (Marvel)

Penn Jillette (W) Scott Koblish (A)

New team on board for this one. Maybe some fancy special guests. I wonder who they could be? No idea. I give up.

When asked why they voted for Masters, many voters said things like, “He’s the least insane of the choices.” and “At least I know which ancient Gods he makes blood sacrifices to.” Statisticians were baffled, news broadcasters outright refused to cover his enormous lead in the polls. Everything was amok. The next morning, after it had been formally declared, much to the disbelief of the people in charge of such declarations, Jerry Masters made one of the most heartfelt and honest speeches in all of recorded history. Immediately after the cheers subsided, a oscillating warble began echoing through the sky, louder and louder. It became so loud that people began to scream in pain, windows began shaking violently, some even breaking, sending shards of glass raining to the ground. Then silence, a silence so quiet people thought themselves deaf, even when someone made a noise, they did not really make a noise, at least is seemed that way. When all eyes turned on their leader, they witnessed him being sucked into a small teal gem hovering twelve feet above his head. A loud POP, and he vanished with a puff of purple smoke. So, I guess, that was the end of that.