Let me start by reminding all of you haters of Transformers that we’re watching a movie based off of a Hasbro TOY line. The concept that a vehicle can turn into a Robot, sometimes an 8th of the size of its original form, only to be shot in the hands of another robot. This isn’t high art, this doesn’t have to be more than Robots punching other Robots in the face.

That’s all that I expect to see when I go into one of these movies. That’s all you should expect as well, and if you’re getting mad at Michael Bay about it, well just don’t see it. You hating on it and still spending the money on a ticket, like a couple of people in line with me last night, only fuels Paramounts’ need to make more of them. So, for the rest of you who just wanna enjoy a Summer Blockbuster and lose themselves for almost 3 hours, well enjoy.

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This movie is different from the others. It’s much, much darker. Optimus Prime is pissed, pretty much throughout the entire movie. The Humans have taken upon themselves after the fall of Chicago to take back their planet, and that means they don’t need Alien Robots fighting for them, or simply even existing. Kelsey Grammar’s, Harold Attinger, works for the CIA and has created a Black Ops task force that makes it a mission to hunt down Decepticon and Autobot alike, and destroy them. It’s a pretty bleak world, five years later, for the Transformers.

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The majority have gone into hiding, and the story starts off with Mark Wahlberg as a down-on-his-luck inventor, who can barely support him and his daughter, Nicola Peltz. Amongst his trying, he happens upon a wrecked up semi that he wants to scrap for the parts. We later find out, that it’s Optimus Prime in hiding. Without giving too much of the plot away, the CIA has been working with a Transformer named, Lockdown, who needs Optimus Prime to take back to ‘The Creators’ and is helping kill other Transformers in exchange for Prime. Actually, that’s the entire plot.

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Writer, Ehren Kruger, is back for his third take on the franchise (rumored for the fifth movie as well) and you can tell he’s not the man for the job anymore. Honestly, as much as I love Michael Bay, I’m ready for him to be done as well. The groundwork that the two of them have laid for this franchise is great, but they need to hand over the reins. Especially Kruger. He’s going into real George Lucas territory with some of his humor and thin plots. There was many times I asked myself why something was going on, or how did the characters get to that point; but then I would remember I was watching a Transformers movie and it didn’t really matter.

That being said, there are a couple of things I want to point out in regards to the plot that need to be addressed. Spoilers ahead:

  • You see ancient Transformers coming down and destroying the Dinosaurs, but then we have Dinobots. I get that they captured Dinosaurs, but why make them Dinobots?
  • Why is Grimlock one of the ancient Knights when he was enslaved? How did he even become a Knight if he was turned by ancient Transformers and then instantly caged up?
  • Galvitron being almost a waste, as well as the T-1000 of jobber Transformers
  • Bumblebee still not being able to talk. I remember Ratchet kinda fixing his voice in the first film and I thought he woulda kept that up, but no. Still using movie and music quotes. It is funny at times, but kinda annoying as well

There’s probably other ones as well, but it doesn’t really matter. Hopefully Kruger just doesn’t stay on with Bay leaving the series, and someone can take over. Now, let’s go to some things that I really enjoyed about the movie.

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  • Steve Jablonsky‘s music was amazing this go around. I’ve been a fan since the first film and he outdid himself. Though I will say, the music was VERY similar to Tron: Legacy. It was like a more robotic take on that, but I still enjoyed the heck out of it. It got weird at points with some ‘oohs’ and almost 80s vibe, but I actually dug it.
  • The look of the movie was great, as always. Bay knows how to use a camera. I don’t care what you say about him always using explosions in place of plot, when you’re movie is about Alien Robots who fight each other, you need someone who knows how to put a camera on a dashboard and then ram the car into a wall.
  • Optimus Prime was BAD ASS. He didn’t care for the Humans or the bad guys. He killed a person! It was insane. He was the leader he needed to be
  • The idea of the ‘The Creators’. Very cool concept and I hope it turns to Unicron
  • John Goodman, Joe DiMaggio, Ken Wantanabe, Mark Ryan, Reno Wilson, and the ever amazing Peter Cullen being voice actors for the Transformers.
  • There’s a part where Bumblebee actually uses a line from The Big Lebowski and I found that hilarious considering Goodman is playing another character
  • DINOBOTS
  • Lockdown as a villain was PERFECT. He was evil and unrelenting in his goal to get Optimus Prime and he could have carried the whole film himself.
  • Mark Wahlberg did a fantastic job as the dad who has to deal with a teenage daughter. Much more grounded a character than Sam Witwicky

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I give Transformers: Age of Extinction 5 outta 5 stars. The plot dipped in a few spots, but the movie was fast-paced and the action was over-the-top. I liked where the franchise is heading and who can’t deny Dinobots wrecking stuff up!? I rank it as my second favorite Transformers film behind the first one. Let’s hope for a $100million opening weekend!

Transformers: Age of Extinction is in theatres NOW! The film stars Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Sophia Myles and Bingbing Li.

~Chaz

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